(14 DPO) - Maybe there's still hope.

Well, the good news is that, according to my calculations, my period should be due today and I'm not feeling crampy or bloated. The bad news is, I took this FRER here with FMU and, although I see a line, I'm pretty damn sure it's an indent. Oh well. Hubby and I only BD'd one time this cycle during my fertile window. I know it only takes once, but it's looking like we missed the mark. I'm not terribly upset about it. I'm actually okay with it considering I'd love to focus more on my weight loss. Speaking of weight loss, I realized something pretty funny. I was looking through my old My Fitness Pal weight check-ins and realized I weighed exactly the same one year ago that I do today. Oh, I only lost and then gained back 30 pounds in that time period. Pssssh. ;) 

But really. I need to focus on this. My husband says that when I get focused on something, I become consumed. I thought he was just being an ass until I thought about it. First it was the extreme couponing. Oh yes, I used to be an extreme couponer. In fact, we're still not out of toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner and body wash from my couponing days ..... which ended almost two years ago.

Don't hate. I know you want to hate, but ... okay, you can hate.

I got really good at that shit. Like super good. See, I'm currently working on my Associates in Accounting. There's a reason for it. I'm quite good at math. I love math. I crave it. I actually do math problems for fun. 

I told you guys I was a nerd before being a nerd was cool.

The high got me going. Yes, I got stuff for free, but not to the extent they do/did on that stupid reality show. Those women were oftentimes frauding the system and using coupons incorrectly, but I didn't. It was pretty typical of me to walk with $300 worth of merchandise and only pay $60. The one thing I always got for free was toothpaste. (yes, I donated a shit load of it). Sadly, I stopped couponing when Kroger stopped double coupons. That's pretty much where a coupon for $0.50 off one item would double to $1.00. They would often have Crest toothpaste on sale 10/$10 (which you didn't have to buy 10 to get the deal, mind you! Buying one would cost you a dollah). Anyway, I would apply my $0.50/1 coupon, make it double, get that ish for free and then make it rain when I got home. It was amazing. The joke amongst my friends was that I "broke" Kroger when I got 200 packs of Huggies baby wipes for free. They stopped doubling their coupons shortly after the heist I pulled. I have no regrets. I love telling this story. You may have climbed Mt. Everest or birthed six babies non-medicated in a water birth or saved a bunch of kiddies from a burning bus, But I got 200 packs of free baby wipes. Listen up. Okay, so, I think I was around 9 months pregnant with my baby. I was hot, it was the worst summer heat on record, and I was waddling at a speed of negative five miles per hour. I was done. And I had my couponing book. I had spent the past 9 months couponing for baby supplies and getting quite a nice collection going. I had even dumpster-dived until I was about six months and my belly was too big to reach in. (before you judge me, I only went to recycle-bin dumpsters, so no nasty stuff! ... although people looked at me weird like I was a pregnant homeless lady). Anyway.

My local grocery store, Kroger, was running this awesome sale on Huggies baby wipes, 5/$5, making them $1 each. That's a great deal on its own, truly. For a pack of 70 wipes, they were normally $2.15 a piece without the sale. I was on one of my favorite coupon websites and discovered that the Huggies website was putting out a high-value $1 off 1 Huggies wipe pack, 70 count or more (you have to pay attention to that). The website allowed you to print off two of the same coupon from your IP address PER DAY, so I did so. Hallelujah, two free packs! 

Then I got greedy. (Hey, I was poor and I was about to have a baby, cut me some slack!)

I'm still poor but that's besides the point.

So I went to my local library around the corner. I used a guest pass and went to each open computer and printed off the coupons. Each page cost me $0.05, so you can argue I didn't get the wipes 100% free, but whatevs. I got four coupons on each page, so essentially, I paid $0.05 per four packs. 

No, the librarians didn't mind as long as I paid for what I printed.

So I went back to the library for five days, printing off as many as I could get away with. The library was on my way to work so I didn't have to waste gas.

Once I had my 200 coupons clipped and ready to go, I set forth to my Kroger. They had just re-stocked their shelves. I grabbed around 75 wipes, making sure I was getting them in increments of fives AND I made sure not to clear the shelf because that's really rude.

The cashier absolutely loved me ;)

But really. I was polite, apologized for the craziness, and handed her my coupons.

I walked with 75 free wipes.

I repeated this at three other Krogers, all within the area so I didn't waste gas. They didn't all have enough for me get what I needed without clearing the shelves. But over the course of three or four days, I got all the wipes I set out to get.

Damn, I miss couponing. I think I might pick it up again, but honestly, I just don't have the time... between working full-time, raising an almost two-year-old, raising a husband (am I right, ladies?), paying bills, going to college ... there's just not enough time in the world.

And I wonder why I want another baby.

Oh yes. Yes yes yes yes. More of this, please.

On a lighter note, we may be heading to Tampa, Florida with our family in September. We're going to visit my husband's stepfather's mother. She lives twenty minutes from the beach and damnit, I'm ready to see the ocean. I haven't been to the beach in nine years. And that was a shitty situation, let me tell ya. I was 18 and I went with my then-boyfriend and we fought the whole time we were there. His car broke down too. It was a nightmare. So I'm ready to just have a fun, family-filled much-needed vacation. So my new goal is to be back down to at least 190 by the time we go. That's 26 pounds to lose in 13 weeks... so that's 2 pounds per week! It's not entirely unobtainable. Difficult, but doable, y'anknowwhatimsayin?

I can do this.