So I got my hopes up for nothing.
Go figure. I don't know why I do this to myself every cycle. Here's the
steps I routinely go through:
1. Get period
2. Eat a lot of sweets, bloat, watch a lot of sad movies, cry
3. Wait for period to be over
4. Go a few days without worrying about TTC
5. Realize I'm on CD 10 and I'm most likely going to ovulate in three days
6. Seduce hubby
7. Fail to seduce hubby
8. Realize I'm on CD 12
9. Panic
10. Attempt seduction of hubby again
11. Succeed
12. Lay with legs in the air, up against the wall for 5-10 minutes
13. Go about my business for a few days
14. Enjoy life without worrying about buying pregnancy tests
15. Realize that pregnancy tests do NOT in fact rule my life
16. Feel empowered to wait until AF arrives or doesn't arrive to test
17. Make secret pact with self to have more self control
18. Realize it's 8 DPO
19. Try had to resist stopping at Dollar General and buying First Signal $1 tests
20. Fail at resisting
21. Take First Signal test, see a line (always, always see a line)
22. Get excited
23. Race out to 24-hour Wal-Mart at 3:00am and buy more $1 tests
24. Take test with FMU on 9 DPO
25. See nothing.
26. Rinse and repeat for a few days
27. Swear I see something on every test
28. Get validation on online message board
29. Drive myself insane
30. Get stared at for purchasing yet another FRER at the local grocery store
31. Stare at the cashier's 8 month + pregnant belly and cringe when I hear her talking about her other four kids
32. Wonder if I'll somehow end up with four kids
33. Test every day until expected AF
34. Get AF
.... Rinse and repeat.
So there you have it! That's exactly what I do each and every cycle. It's becoming depression, exhausting AND expensive.
This cycle I've received some of the most convincing lines I've ever had TTC #2. I've felt so different this cycle and I still believe I might be in it to win it. Here's what I received with my FMU:
Every
time I look at it, I see a faint line. When I tweak it on my phone, the
line has pink. It's there. The only question is, is it viable? I
decided to try one of my First Signals with my FMU urine as well. Here's
what I got:
Not quite what I had yesterday, but when I tone down the brightness on my phone, I see a faint pink line.
This ish is nuts, yo.
At this point, I should be getting dark damn lines. This isn't fair!
In
the mean time, my breasts are so swollen they could be floatation
devices. I'm a DD on a good day. They're sore, vein-y and bulbous. That
can be an AF sign but it's usually not the case with me. My nip-nips are
also visibly darker.
I guess we'll wait and see.
