I may have found the one!

I'm very excited as I type this post. I may very well have found the "one" - the intended parents of a baby I may be carrying in the future. Here's what's happened since my last post.

Shortly after my last post, I visited a multitude of surrogacy forums, websites and agencies. I found one website that was like a classified ad for people looking for surrogates. I bravely put my name, age, brief description and phone number up for the world to see. Within a few hours, I had received three calls. One was from California from a man who I could not hear and who had a very thick accent. I couldn't understand him, he couldn't understand me, it was a disaster. All I could hear was "surrogacy" so I knew where he got my number. I decided not to pursue that lead since it was 3,000 miles away and there was a definite language barrier. Sorry, guy.

The second response I got was from a couple in West Virginia. I actually spoke to them twice on the phone and then through e-mail. The mother told me that after she gave birth to their daughter, her insides ruptured and she had to have everything removed. They were devastated because they wanted to expand their family. They went with a surrogate a few years ago who actually carried their son to near term when he, tragically, passed away in the womb. I felt so bad for them and so badly wanted to help. They sent me a long questionnaire that I gladly filled out.

The problem? They asked what my faith was. I'm atheist. I said "none". They wanted me to elaborate, so I did in a very respectful manner. They wanted more details. I was as polite and respectful as I could be. "I was raised as a Christian Baptist but went down a separate path and found that faith wasn't for me." I mean, how else could I have put it? That's when they pulled the ignorance card. One of the other questions was about tattoos. Yes, I have five. Three are tiny, two are large. Three are dragon-themed because I've always loved dragons, they're my "thing". The intended parents asked me if my love of dragons and tattoos stemmed from my atheism. 

Really?

I chose not to be offended but it was still a little obnoxious. 

My response:

Actually, I've loved dragons since I was a little girl. I'm an artist and they were my favorite thing to draw. My biggest tattoo is of a dragon I drew many years ago and it's very unique and really expresses my personality.  

"We're concerned of your lack of faith because faith is everything to us and we would want our child to listen to gospel music while in the womb."

I mean, you're paying me money to grow your baby. You dictate what I eat, how I exercise and if you want me to blast gospel music, by golly I will. It's really not an issue. My baby got to listen to heavy metal when I was pregnant, but that's because being an atheist dictates that I must sacrifice babies to Satan and fire-breathing dragons. (not my actual response, don't worry)

I didn't receive a message back. Oh well, I didn't think they were the "one".

So then I received a call from a lady in Maryland. She said her and her husband tried for well over 15 years for a baby and were determined to have one or more. I told her I was willing to carry up to three. She started acting condescending. 

"So, you live in Virginia?"

"Yes, I do."

"Well, that's not a surrogacy-friendly state."

"It's not? I thought it was...."

"No. It's not. You should really live closer to your intended parents."

(What, did she expect me to up and live next door to her while I was growing her kid(s)?")

"Well, uh... Maryland's only 4 hours from me. I'm willing to travel as long as my gas is compensated."

"That's a pretty far drive. How will you take off from work? What do you do?"

"Oh, it's not that bad. I like to drive. All I would need to do is let my manager know a week or so in advance. And I'm a waitress."

"Oh so you don't make a lot of money."

(Really?!)

"Ha, well, no. Not a lot. But I get by pretty good. I've been there almost 4 years."

"Huh."

"Yeah."

"Well, what if it's a last-minute need to drive?"

"Well, it's really easy to release shifts to other servers. People are always willing to pick up."

"I see. How will that affect you financially?"

"I actually budget quite well. I'm studying to be an Accountant so I need to practice what I preach! Heh."

"Oh, so you're in school too? How will you have time to be a surrogate?"

"I ... um ... I'm on summer break right now but it's something I can balance quite well. I worked full time right up to the day I had my daughter. I worked two jobs, went to school full time and raised my baby. I'm a full-plate kind of person. I like the challenge!"

"Huh. Well. As you may know, MOST surrogates are stay-at-home moms who rely on their husbands financially."

"Well, I'm different. I've never relied on anyone financially, even my husband when we were together. I'm pretty independent."

"Huh. I see. Well, let me do some research and I'll call you back."

She never called back and I'm glad as hell. She was cold, heartless and almost sounded like she was trying to tell me what to do. Whatever.

I was starting to think this may not work out, especially after one of the three agencies I applied to refused me due to my history of depression.

Who's not depressed in this day and age? Seriously.

But just a few days ago, I got a text from a woman with my area code. She lives in my area, has three kids but had a partial hysterectomy and wants to give a baby to her new husband. We've been talking back and forth and we're really hitting it off. She said they don't have a lot of money but I said I was negotiable. As far as I see it, I want to do this, she wants to do this, we live in the same CITY so no traveling for either of us and even if I take a pay cut to do this, it will benefit me. How? Well, if I've already completed one successful surrogacy, I'll be more of a prize to others or to agencies. It's a win win for everyone! And it doesn't hurt that his lady is kind, compassionate and is the opposite of condescending. It seems we all want the same end game, so that's what's making me think she's the one.

She still needs to find out if she's able to have her eggs harvested, but from the research I've done since our last conversation, she shouldn't have any problems. I told her that I still need to find out if my oven is fit for baking. I'm sure we'll know something soon :)

Crossing my fingers. Wish me luck!