(15 DPO) - Uh ... that's a line.

EDIT: Uh. I accidentally had this labeled as 17 DPO ... I went back and re-checked my period app and realized I'm more along the lines of 15 DPO. Sorry.

I told myself I would wait until my period came, or didn't come, to test. But damnit I always break promises to myself. I'm pretty bad about that, actually. So tonight, I worked a 5-hour shift and held my pee. I wouldn't recommend that since it really is horrible for your bladder and can cause a lot of issues. But in the TTC world, it's perfectly normal ... so there's that.

Anyway, I came home and took an Answer brand test. 

Here's what I got.

Nothing to see right away, right?

Well, when I opened it up in Photoshop and tweaked it a bit, I got this.

It's there and it's pink. I used a BFP from a Google search of the same brand so that I could make sure the line was in the right place. It's even there when I invert it. Yes, I know it's not recommended to tweak tests, but all I did was adjust the brightness and contrast. That's allowed, right? It's my blog and I'm gonna do what I want, damnit. Anyway, I really think this may be the beginning of a BFP for me and I'm pretty stoked.

But is it viable? I mean, AF is due in two days. I haven't spotted yet, which is an excellent sign since I do 90% of the time right before she shows. But if this is a super super light BFP, shouldn't it be much darker for being this close to AF?

I'm going to go ahead and try not to stress. The only "symptoms" I'm experiencing are lower back pain, weird tastes in my mouth and tingly nipples. Fingers crossed.

EDIT: Here's another photo of the same test, taken around the 5-minute mark.

 

(15 DPO) - Feeling pretty blah today.

So today's approximately 15 DPO. According to my math, AF was due yesterday but according to my super-duper trustworthy, most of the time correct period app, I'm due on Friday, so two days from now. See, I've been tracking my cycle on this app for nearly two years. It knows my wonky uterus better than I know my own wonky uterus. Even though my period used to be ridiculously irregular, after having my daughter, it's pretty much fixed itself. That doesn't mean I no longer have PCOS, sadly, but at least I know I can count on my period each month. With that being said, I range from 28-31 days each cycle and my app is about 95% correct with its predictions of when AF will arrive. If AF is coming on Friday, I haven't spotted yet, which I do most of time... two days before AF. So maybe that's a good sign? Yes, that's a good sign. I'm also not feeling AF-like cramps like I normally do. In fact, I'm having no symptoms of either pregnancy or AF. Hmm. My lower back hurts a bit, though, but that's probably from mopping the entire damn house this afternoon.

I suppose I should test again today ... I'm itching to do so. I just got paid so I guess it won't be as embarrassing as yesterday when I bought tests with my credit card that had $15 credit left on it after my debit card was declined. At least the man at the check out is nice. He's the manager of that grocery store and he's always been kind to me and to my daughter. He gives her a free cookie every time he sees her :) It's no secret that I'm trying to get pregnant. I've never told him since it's none of his business, but it's pretty damn obvious when I buy FRERs from them every single month.

Ugh, I embarass myself.

In other news, one of  my best friends is going to find out tomorrow if she's having a boy or a girl. She's due on Halloween, which was my due date back when I had my very early miscarriage. She literally called me the day after I lost it and told me she was pregnant after TWO MONTHS of NTNP with her boyfriend. (yay) :( I was super stoked for her but pretty bummed for myself.

I've gotten over it at this point. She's an awesome person and I love her. With that being said, she might have already found out she's having a boy. When she went in for routine blood work a week ago, she had a friend of hers analyze the blood (they work in the lab) and discovered she was carrying the Y chromosome. So maybe it's a BOY :) how exciting. She already has a little girl. 

But we'll find out for sure tomorrow assuming he/she cooperates. How exciting. <3

One last note. If I am pregnant, my due date is February 24, 2015. My babies will be 2.5 years apart EXACTLY :)

(15 DPO) - AF is officially late.

But I'm not pregnant. Hmm.

I'm choosing to ignore this for now. I took my last First Signal test - BFN, as expected. AF is late, but I do fluctuate between 28 and 30 days. She'll likely be here sometime today or tomorrow. I hope. Since I'm not pregnant, I just want her to come so I can deal with her needy ass.

I'm choosing not to do Clomid for this next cycle. I'm going to take a break from it and focus on losing weight again. Oh, this sucks.

It's currently 5:00pm as I type this and I haven't gone over 20 carbs today. That's a major success for me, considering I can eat 100 carbs for breakfast alone. I know low-carb works for me and I will do it again. 

In the meantime, I had to go clothes shopping. Yes, had to. It's not something I ever volunteer for. Tomorrow starts the first day of our new uniform at work. I had to spend all my tip money from today's shift on two shirts and a pair of jeans and I am NOT happy about it. Fucking bullshit.

The tops are button-up, a busty lady's sworn enemy. I had to buy size 18, something I'm not happy about but I'll manage. The jeans were an issue, though. My boss said we needed boot cut style but it doesn't say anything about it on the official document from corporate. Me and boot cut don't mix. I always need a size 16-20 but they're tight around my middle and baggy in the ass and legs area. It sucks when you're apple-shaped. I have all my weight in my middle with absolutely NO ass and then skinny chicken legs. It's weird. And it's a very hard shape to dress.

So I bought skinny jeans, the only kind of jeans I can truly wear.

My boss can suck it.